I came up with it today. You see I do really good on Mondays and Tuesdays. One might even say I do "perfectly" those days. I eat healthy, staying away from refined foods and 'white' carbs. I don't drink. I track my calories. I exercise twice a day, and drink lots of water. I take my vitamin D and sometimes I even take all my multi-vitamins.
Then Wednesday comes. I get tired. I start to slip just a little bit. I might only workout once and I am pretty sure I will make room in my calorie count for some crackers with cheese at night (and maybe a small glass of wine). And I guarantee I do not take my vitamins, any of them.
Thursday comes. I sleep in just a little bit. I go to the homeschool playgroup and sit on my arse all afternoon. I usually still eat good, unless someone brings food to share. Then I get a tiny bit restless and I eat more then I should. I go home tired, worn out, not wanting to cook, and craving potatoes (God's personal gift to me - which will be a later post). I cook dinner, kind of, and usually eat a bit too much.
Friday. The morning goes just fine. I eat a simple breakfast and a decent lunch. And then?!? And then?!? Do I need to say more? It's the weekend baby. I want to celebrate. To me celebrations have always included good food, good drinks, and good people. Damn it, I think I gain five pounds every weekend.
Thank God for Sunday. A day to rest, relax, clean the house a bit. A day to have wine at dinner and plan for the upcoming week. These plans mostly include how I am going to really get my shit together and get 'serious' about loosing weight.
I've spent time reflecting on my behavior and I figure I can be perfect about 50% of the time and the other 50% of the time should just be considered 'golden' because of how perfect I was.
So here's the plan: It's called the A.M./P.M. Diet. It's going to revolutionize the entire weight loss community. It's flawless. From midnight until noon, you eat perfectly: lean organic meats/eggs, organic veggies, good fats, you drink lots of water, and keep your calories to less then 500.
As soon as noon hits, you're good to go. Have a Manhattan with your pesto burger and fries. Hell, it's afternoon and you already ate perfectly the first half of the day.
I'm sure you'll hit a craving for sweets sometime after 2:00. It's okay. Indulge. Go for that movie theater sized bag of Reeses pieces. You deserve it. You were flawless all morning.
Are you ready for dinner? I don't know about you, but I'm Jonesing for a kick ass steak with king crab legs, dipped in butter. Add a loaded baked potato, would you? And let me wash it down with a glass or three of wine. What the hell, you were awesome for the first half of the day.
Late night snack anyone? It's healthy to drink wine and eat cheese, so smother this Flacker with brie and keep my glass full! [writing note to self: Flackers are actually not 'bad' for you = bonus!] Shit! It's 11:59. Down the last drink, grab the Tums, slam some water and go to bed. You can sleep until noon.
Cocooning
During the last few months I have taken a lot of time for myself. I've sealed myself away from friends and even a little bit from my sister. I stopped hosting parties, started spending a little less time on Facebook, sent out very few texts, and quit making 'extra' playdates for my kids. I coined the word cocooning from a friend of mine who seemed to be going through a similar experience. I wrapped myself in layers of my own thoughts, protecting myself from anyone who might hurt me in my fragile state. I had decided that I was growing, doing some inner soul searching.
At first, this type of reasoning with myself made sense. I felt is was okay to step back from my social side and focus on just me, which is true for awhile. But there came a time when it was no longer a save cocoon. It became a place to hid from everyone. It started to smell, taste, and look a lot like depression. Sure, dinner got made and the dishes got done. Okay, the dishes only really got done because someone else did them (thank you children). But wait, laundry got washed. Again, not by me (thank you Nathan). I put on my happy face when required or maybe I really didn't. Yep, I was deep in shit. I was tired and cranky. I slept in and quit playing games with my kids. I wasn't interested in anything. Well I did spend hours on my computer trying for a high score in Bejeweled Blitz so I guess I was interested in 'something'. I canceled outings and groaned about anything I had to do. Then Nathan reached deep into my dark, little, sad world and grabbed me.
He said, "How do you want to celebrate our anniversary this weekend?"
I said, "I dunno. How about if we just hang out at home and cook a nice dinner?"
He said, "How about if we invite people over for a Rockband party?"
I said, "grrroooaaaannnn. I don't want to do that."
He said, "Maybe you should just think about it for awhile."
So I went to bed thinking about having a Rockband party. And all the work involved in hosting a freaking party. And that my house hasn't had a proper cleaning for about two months. And that I wasn't sure I was ready to have fun yet. And that my house is too small for large gatherings. And that I don't know how to invite some people over without hurting other people's feelings. And I fell asleep knowing that this Rockband party was something I had to do.
Friday was spent with me still not really being a big help around the house, but Social Guy stepped in and kick arse on the house cleaning and Nathan did the appropriate hosting-a-lot-of-people-in-a-small-space tasks we normally do (again, thank you children and Nathan). People started showing up and I knew Nathan had been right. This is what I needed. I needed the sound of laughter, good food, and social awkwardness to help crack the thick walls of this damn cocoon. It felt good. I felt free. I felt awesome!
I'm out now. I don't know how long it will last, but I know that I will enjoy every minute of it and I will be hosting a lot more parties.
At first, this type of reasoning with myself made sense. I felt is was okay to step back from my social side and focus on just me, which is true for awhile. But there came a time when it was no longer a save cocoon. It became a place to hid from everyone. It started to smell, taste, and look a lot like depression. Sure, dinner got made and the dishes got done. Okay, the dishes only really got done because someone else did them (thank you children). But wait, laundry got washed. Again, not by me (thank you Nathan). I put on my happy face when required or maybe I really didn't. Yep, I was deep in shit. I was tired and cranky. I slept in and quit playing games with my kids. I wasn't interested in anything. Well I did spend hours on my computer trying for a high score in Bejeweled Blitz so I guess I was interested in 'something'. I canceled outings and groaned about anything I had to do. Then Nathan reached deep into my dark, little, sad world and grabbed me.
He said, "How do you want to celebrate our anniversary this weekend?"
I said, "I dunno. How about if we just hang out at home and cook a nice dinner?"
He said, "How about if we invite people over for a Rockband party?"
I said, "grrroooaaaannnn. I don't want to do that."
He said, "Maybe you should just think about it for awhile."
So I went to bed thinking about having a Rockband party. And all the work involved in hosting a freaking party. And that my house hasn't had a proper cleaning for about two months. And that I wasn't sure I was ready to have fun yet. And that my house is too small for large gatherings. And that I don't know how to invite some people over without hurting other people's feelings. And I fell asleep knowing that this Rockband party was something I had to do.
Friday was spent with me still not really being a big help around the house, but Social Guy stepped in and kick arse on the house cleaning and Nathan did the appropriate hosting-a-lot-of-people-in-a-small-space tasks we normally do (again, thank you children and Nathan). People started showing up and I knew Nathan had been right. This is what I needed. I needed the sound of laughter, good food, and social awkwardness to help crack the thick walls of this damn cocoon. It felt good. I felt free. I felt awesome!
I'm out now. I don't know how long it will last, but I know that I will enjoy every minute of it and I will be hosting a lot more parties.
Best Anniversary Gift Ever
Last night we celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary in a very low key way. We made great burgers and had dinner with the kids. Then we sent them to bed early and....watched a Red Box movie, Julie & Julia! The movie was slow and not nearly as funny or foodie as I had hoped, but what I got out of the movie is that both Julie and Julia's husbands wanted them to be happy. Their husbands simply loved their wives.
And during one of our intermissions Nathan gave me the greatest gift ever. He said to me, "Don't worry about what you're going to do after you raise our babies. I'm not going to look at you one day and say, 'Honey, about time you go get a job.' I want you to do what makes you happy. I love it when you write. I see you getting excited about your story. I don't want you to worry about if your writing ever makes money. Just do it for yourself."
He simply loves me.
It's All In The Name
First off in my newest adventure is the name. I need a cool name. I can't copy Biggest Loser for obvious reasons: copyright infringement, no trainer, no fat farm, and there is only one person competing...me (I hope I win). I've been hanging out with thesaurus.com trying to come up with a catchy title for my game:
- Ample Deadbeat
- Enormous Down and Outer
- Monster Underdog
- Spacious Flunky
- Voluminous Flop
- Pint-Sized Hero
- Scanty Number One
- Small Scale Title-Holder
- 2010 year of the Tiger, I'm done being wider!
- I've kicked it before...Let's hear me roar?
- Gold Medal Skinny Bitch (actually I read that book in about one hour and thought it was stupid...just sayin')
- I Won a Gold Medal in Metabolism
Not Quite Fat Enough
Yeah, I'm struggling with my weight. I haven't weighed this much in my life....ever. It's sad. One of my favorite shows is Biggest Loser. I love watching over-weight people turn into athletes, probably because at one time I used to be an athlete. I love watching them work their arses off, sweat pouring off their bodies, and getting screamed at by Jillian. I can even tolerate Bob's mushy, "You can do it. I love you." crap.
Last week Bob and Jillian announce at the end of the show,"Think you got what it takes? Go on-line now and sign up for our next casting!" Hmph....I've got what it takes. I bet you $250,000 I could take whatever Jillian can dish out. I log onto the laptop, go to the Biggest Loser website, find the current casting link and...immediately notice that applicants must have at least 100 pounds to lose. I only need to loose 70 and I will be at my *super-ultimate* goal weight...I-am-not-fat-enough.
I weigh my options: Gain thirty pounds so I can possibly get a chance to work out with Jillian and get my arse kicked on national tv (including public weigh-ins wearing only my sports bra and spandex pants)? Or maybe...I do my own version of Biggest Loser: team colors, goofy challenges, crazy temptations, and even public weigh-ins wearing only my sports bra and spandex pants. I'm still debating...
Last week Bob and Jillian announce at the end of the show,"Think you got what it takes? Go on-line now and sign up for our next casting!" Hmph....I've got what it takes. I bet you $250,000 I could take whatever Jillian can dish out. I log onto the laptop, go to the Biggest Loser website, find the current casting link and...immediately notice that applicants must have at least 100 pounds to lose. I only need to loose 70 and I will be at my *super-ultimate* goal weight...I-am-not-fat-enough.
I weigh my options: Gain thirty pounds so I can possibly get a chance to work out with Jillian and get my arse kicked on national tv (including public weigh-ins wearing only my sports bra and spandex pants)? Or maybe...I do my own version of Biggest Loser: team colors, goofy challenges, crazy temptations, and even public weigh-ins wearing only my sports bra and spandex pants. I'm still debating...
Mother Freakin' Foodie
You remember my recent post about Going Out vs Staying In, right? It was about all that great food Nathan and I cooked for date night? Tuesday came and I was digging in the fridge. I happened to come across the package of fresh basil that we used for our Basil Olive Oil on the scallop dish. Thinking I could use some of the basil in Tuesday's dinner, I grabbed it out of the fridge. And then I read the label. And then I felt deflated...
You see, when I was at Cub Foods on Saturday it was busy. I mean it was felt-like-a-snow-storm-was-coming-busy and I was busy too (as in felt-like-it-was-date-night-without-kids-busy). So I reached around some lady staring off into space, and over some guy picking out green peppers, and in front another guy picking out fresh spices, and I grabbed the basil. Turns out I grabbed Bay Leaves....not Basil. It also turns out that I didn't read the label later or really notice a taste difference on Saturday night...weird.
You see, when I was at Cub Foods on Saturday it was busy. I mean it was felt-like-a-snow-storm-was-coming-busy and I was busy too (as in felt-like-it-was-date-night-without-kids-busy). So I reached around some lady staring off into space, and over some guy picking out green peppers, and in front another guy picking out fresh spices, and I grabbed the basil. Turns out I grabbed Bay Leaves....not Basil. It also turns out that I didn't read the label later or really notice a taste difference on Saturday night...weird.
Thinking Out Loud
I recently read a friend's blog on her opinion of abortion. I thought it was great when she said that she wasn't writing the blog to change anyone's mind, because that's where this blog is coming from too. I'm not here to change anyone's mind. More then likely you already know where you stand with this issue and a couple lines from me isn't going to change a thing.
I never knew that there was a Blog for Choice day. Apparently there is. The saddest thing I read that day was a Facebook status. The status was to encourage people to donate to a Pro-Choice organization in the name of a Pro-Life person.....wow. That just struck me as so odd and so aggressive and just so unnecessary.
I'm in the Pro-Life camp, more in the 'Don't Use Abortion For Birth Control Camp' if you want to get technical. I don't shout it from the rooftops and I don't blast people who are Pro-Choice.
I want women out there, who are having sex, to make educated Choices before they get pregnant. Seventeen and a half years ago, my pregnancy was terminated without my Choice. For those that get to choose, I hope they choose wisely.
I never knew that there was a Blog for Choice day. Apparently there is. The saddest thing I read that day was a Facebook status. The status was to encourage people to donate to a Pro-Choice organization in the name of a Pro-Life person.....wow. That just struck me as so odd and so aggressive and just so unnecessary.
I'm in the Pro-Life camp, more in the 'Don't Use Abortion For Birth Control Camp' if you want to get technical. I don't shout it from the rooftops and I don't blast people who are Pro-Choice.
I want women out there, who are having sex, to make educated Choices before they get pregnant. Seventeen and a half years ago, my pregnancy was terminated without my Choice. For those that get to choose, I hope they choose wisely.
Going Out vs. Staying In
One of the things I really enjoy doing is going out for dinner. I love looking at the menu and having a glass of wine while deciding what to eat. I enjoy the fact that someone else set the table and will bring me my food. I especially like someone else cleaning up the mess. We used to go out quite often, but over the last few years it has been harder and harder for me to go out to eat.
First off, (as with a lot of people right now) we're on a pretty tight budget. We're making conscious decisions on how/where to put our financial energy. We've decided that good, healthy food is towards the top - going out to eat is at the bottom.
Then there's the fact that I love to cook and I mean I LOVE TO COOK! So this weekend we stayed home for date night. Nathan and I cooked a fantastic meal of shrimp cocktail ($5.45 + sauce we had on hand), scallops with basil oil & bacon ($8.06), and lamb/feta fatayer ($18.21). We spent hours cooking, laughing, drinking a couple glasses of boxed wine, and eating awesome food. Not only did we spend less then $35 on a great meal, there's enough left overs to make the fatayers again today :)
*cheers* to at home date nights and if there are any other foodies out there, I'd love to have you over for dinner!
First off, (as with a lot of people right now) we're on a pretty tight budget. We're making conscious decisions on how/where to put our financial energy. We've decided that good, healthy food is towards the top - going out to eat is at the bottom.
Then there's the fact that I love to cook and I mean I LOVE TO COOK! So this weekend we stayed home for date night. Nathan and I cooked a fantastic meal of shrimp cocktail ($5.45 + sauce we had on hand), scallops with basil oil & bacon ($8.06), and lamb/feta fatayer ($18.21). We spent hours cooking, laughing, drinking a couple glasses of boxed wine, and eating awesome food. Not only did we spend less then $35 on a great meal, there's enough left overs to make the fatayers again today :)
*cheers* to at home date nights and if there are any other foodies out there, I'd love to have you over for dinner!
Down and Out
Facebook. It's been down today. At least it's been down for me and I'm hoping it's down for everyone else too. You see I keep checking it and finding a blank page. I start asking myself:
Has Facebook been hacked? Am I the only one not getting on? Am I missing the announcement of some awesome party? Have all of my friends been on-line laughing at jokes and statuses while I keep refreshing the same blank page over and over again? I was going to send an email today to a long lost friend, but didn't get her email address off my Facebook inbox. What if she thinks I'm ignoring her? I have pictures to post...damn it! Why am I not able to *at least* get to Bejeweled Blitz!? WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!?!
Please, someone....text me and tell me it's down for you too. Maybe I'll just tell Facebook I don't need them and get active on Twitter...again. Then again, maybe not.
****Update****
I guess it's just *my* Facebook that isn't working. So, here's a list of things I would have liked to have seen or made comments about today:
You sold your house? Awesome! I just knew the right buyers would come along! I totally thought of 'fancy dress shopping' when you posted about going prom dress shopping! I'm sorry you're having a rough week. Hang in there love, it'll be okay. How've the tips been? I hope you're enjoying the sunshine and warmth! (This I would have posted twice, actually three times.) How's the kid? You should post a sign in your house: "___ days accident free!" Thinking of you and all you've been going through. OMG! It was so awesome to see you today! How's the pup? I'm in *need* of a Mehndi Moment (in more ways then one)! That's right, I beat your freaking score jilly!!! How are those chickadees? Get any sleep lately? I'm falling in love with your blog...(This I would have posted twice.) Miss you. How's your dissertation? Reike anyone? Date night, eh? Hope it comes with a Happy Ending...LOL Nice job on the running. Can't wait to be running too. Hope to see you tomorrow at the PH! [Poking: Noelle, Andrea, Amber, Kathryn] Probably would have also posted a few: <3 :) and a ;) hopefully no :(
Has Facebook been hacked? Am I the only one not getting on? Am I missing the announcement of some awesome party? Have all of my friends been on-line laughing at jokes and statuses while I keep refreshing the same blank page over and over again? I was going to send an email today to a long lost friend, but didn't get her email address off my Facebook inbox. What if she thinks I'm ignoring her? I have pictures to post...damn it! Why am I not able to *at least* get to Bejeweled Blitz!? WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!?!
Please, someone....text me and tell me it's down for you too. Maybe I'll just tell Facebook I don't need them and get active on Twitter...again. Then again, maybe not.
****Update****
I guess it's just *my* Facebook that isn't working. So, here's a list of things I would have liked to have seen or made comments about today:
You sold your house? Awesome! I just knew the right buyers would come along! I totally thought of 'fancy dress shopping' when you posted about going prom dress shopping! I'm sorry you're having a rough week. Hang in there love, it'll be okay. How've the tips been? I hope you're enjoying the sunshine and warmth! (This I would have posted twice, actually three times.) How's the kid? You should post a sign in your house: "___ days accident free!" Thinking of you and all you've been going through. OMG! It was so awesome to see you today! How's the pup? I'm in *need* of a Mehndi Moment (in more ways then one)! That's right, I beat your freaking score jilly!!! How are those chickadees? Get any sleep lately? I'm falling in love with your blog...(This I would have posted twice.) Miss you. How's your dissertation? Reike anyone? Date night, eh? Hope it comes with a Happy Ending...LOL Nice job on the running. Can't wait to be running too. Hope to see you tomorrow at the PH! [Poking: Noelle, Andrea, Amber, Kathryn] Probably would have also posted a few: <3 :) and a ;) hopefully no :(
