My Year In Status

If you are a Facebook user then you have probably seen the application called 'My Year In Status'.  It's a cute app that makes a collage of your statuses through the year.  Several of my Facebook Friends have done theirs.  I've found them fun to read and reminisce.  I've done mine.  I've actually done it several times.  I click the application link, I allow 'My Year In Status', I wait for my collage to be generated, and then...I read it.  Disappointed with the collage, I edit my applications, remove 'My Year In Status', and start again.  Over and over, day after day, I go through the same process.

Every time it starts out just fine.  "is gonna woop up on K with her Yu-Gi-Oh deck...go zombies!"  It then has a blip in there about when I stuck a fork through my thumb, that was a classic this year.  I'm quoted as having "the best husband ever."  Then, the reality of this roller-coaster year sets in.  You see the next status is about Nathan having an allergic reaction to exercising and I'm wondering if I should rush him to the ER.  I'm also sending out prayers to The Goddess of Good Runs.  I ran more last year then I have since I was eight months pregnant and in a life changing car accident.  Let's not forget about the time when The Olson Family of 5 was almost not a family of 5...actually that is where I always stop.  It's hard to read much further.  Sure it gets funnier.  It talks about my love of White Castle, what a great sissy I have, Bailey the Bendy Dog is mentioned, and there's a quote about friendship.

BUT....I can not get past the quote "hence I am no longer a family of five...weird...but true".  It brings tears to my eyes and a stabbing pain in my chest.  It's hard to imagine that some time this past year I was gone from my family.  It's painful to remember being separated from my husband and not a daily part of my kids' lives.  I want that part of my life erased.  In fact, I was so adamant about erasing it I went to my profile page thinking if I could just keep clicking 'older posts' I could get back to that part of my life and delete it.  I spent hours clicking and deleting, but Facebook only lets you go back so far....and for me, it wasn't far enough.

So here I am.  The facts are that I was painfully separated from my husband and my family this last year.  The facts are that Nathan and I have each worked hard to become better people individually to make a better couple together.  The facts are that even though those few months of my life were horribly painful, they are a part of my life...

Christmas Card Evny

Yes, it's true.  I have it.  You see once upon a time I actually made and sent out Christmas cards.  I think I only did it once.  They were handmade.  I spent days and days on them.  I used really nice paper, hand stamped them, and then used watercolor pencils to color/paint them.  I was pretty proud of myself.  I even made Nathan pass them out at his work.  Ok, to be honest they were pretty sad looking.  They didn't look anything like what I had imagined.  They were a cross between 'Obsessed Stampin' Up Lady' and 'Kindergarten Holiday Project'.  Poor Nathan - glad he was a good sport about it.

This year we received not one, but two, fantastic Christmas cards.  The first one was from the Gleasons.  Man that card was cool.  I loved the comic book look to it!  It was fun to read, had great photos, and I got a real feeling to how their year has gone.  Plus I haven't seen Dave and Nancy in about twenty years, so it was nice to *see* old friends again.

The other one was from the Beck-O'Sullivan Family.  They sent out their version of 'Twas Night Before Christmas'.  I'm in love with it.  The poem gives me such an amazing visual.  I can actually see each of their kids - climbing the table and trying to hang from the chandelier, sledding - and coming back with a toothless grin, and texting, texting, texting.

So, maybe next year I'll dust off the ol' stamp pad and send out a kitchy card...then again, probably not.

Happy Spring!

Yeah, I know 'technically' today is the First Day of Winter, BUT...it is also known as the Winter Solstice.  The Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year.  For those of us who dread Winter (with it's icy cold temps, mounds of snow, and dark skies) today is a day of celebration.  From now on out the days begin to get loooonger.  So 'chin up' fellow Winter Haters, we're gonna be okay.  It only gets better from this day on.  I pinky promise.

Close Only Counts In...

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades....or my blog.  I had started out this particular string of blogging as a challenge to myself: Blog Every Day For Thirty Days.  I wanted to get over my fear of writer's block and see if I had it in me to find *something* to write about every day.  I'm proud of the fact that I didn't pre-write anything, (hoping that I could use those pre-written blogs for days there was nothing to write about or when I went out of town over this past weekend).  I'm also proud of my writing progress.  I plan to continue blogging on a more regular schedule, but I will be doing it on a much less intense pace.  Thanks for hanging in there during the last month and I hope you continue to read :)

Tutus and Tiaras~
The MFP

Yes, As a Matter of Fact I *Do* Love Rockband

For those of you who know me well, this is not a surprising thing to hear.  The surprise is that the other night Nathan and I figured out that not only do I 'air Rockband' (as in air guitar) but I also Rockband in my sleep.

Nathan: "You sure were cute last night."

Me: "huh?"

Nathan: "When you fell asleep, you were still snuggling with me [awhhh....how sweet] and you started twitching.  Then it was mostly just your fingers that were twitching.  In a weird sort of tapping way."

[From here the pattern of the conversation changed.  You see, Nathan's been working a lot of hours lately and he's also been sick for almost a week.  His brain is pretty fried and he's totally exhausted.]

Nathan continued: "I 'thought' you might be playing Rockband in your sleep.  Your head moved so I said, 'Are you sleeping?'  Then she said, 'uh!  what?!?!'  So I asked her what she was doing?"  [Did he just refer to me in third party?]

Nathan: "She tried denying it."  [Yep, he's totally talking about me in third party.  I start to giggle.]"What?"

Me: "You keep referring to me as *she*."

Nathan: "Huh, weird.  So anyways, she then starts mumbling about some song.  I ask her - crap...I did it again. I said *she*."

Me: [unable to control giggling] "yep"

Nathan: "Okay, YOU started mumbling about the song you were playing.  YOU said something like 'Night Lies' and then she said, 'I don't even LIKE that song!' and she rolled over and fell back asleep.  Why-do-I-keep-saying-*she*?!?!?"

Me: "I dunno, but you know I'm gonna blog about this, right?"

Nathan: "Yeah, I know.  Can you mention the fact that I've been working a lot and I've been sick and I'm really tired?"

Me: "Sure" [still giggling]

And now we know just exactly how much she loves Rockband!  I mean me!  I LOVE ROCKBAND!!!

A Conversation with a Teen

This morning The Artist (my teen-age stepdaughter) and I had a conversation that went something like this:

The Artist: "blah blah blah blah blah...."

Me: "I have no idea what you just said.  I wasn't listening."

The Artist: "Good thing you weren't listening."

Me: [was able to contain my hysterical laughter, but did let a small smile out]

You see, we weren't having any sort of disagreement.  She just happened to be having some sort of struggle that she needed to voice.  Kids don't always do or say or act exactly like we want them to - when we want them to.  Hell, there are times when I don't act exactly like I would like myself to.  I try to take the time to understand that my children are people.  They have their own ideas, agendas, goals, and dreams.  Sure there are things I can say to them to 'hopefully' quicken their learning curve, but in the end their choices are just that...theirs.  So the next time your child doesn't do what you want them to, when you want them to - or they let out a little verbal frustration....just remember, they might have plans for their lives besides the plans you have for them.

The First Mile Marker

The first would be *back on the training schedule*, (except I don't really do schedules) mile rocked my face off.  I took it slow and did it on the elliptical machine.  I layered it between both the recumbent and the upright stationary bikes.  It was bliss.

I love running (or even pretending to run on the elliptical machine).  I love the fact that running is hard to do.  I like it that I'm unable to text while I run, or read my book.  It's just me, with myself and the tunes.   I like pushing myself hard, past the point of pain and into vast physical numbness and complete mental strength.  I especially liked it today when I got to .98 miles and I was sad.  I wanted those last .02 miles go as slow as possible.  I liked leaving the gym exhausted, sweaty, and having completely given it my all.  I like it that not everyone is a 'runner' and I'm happy to say that I *am* a runner.  Look out Half Marathon...I'm gonna run you!

Salsa Time

Okay, not to brag, but I make fan-freaking-tastic salsa.  It's nothing fancy, but I guarantee it is the best salsa ever!  When fresh tomatoes are good, I use a whole bunch of them.  I'm not sure really how many I use, but it's quite a few.  If they aren't in season I use two big cans of petite diced tomatoes.  I then add one green bell pepper and one white onion, finely chopped.  Toss in any where from one to three jalapeno peppers -depending on how spicy I'm feeling- (seeded and also finely chopped), a bunch of cilantro, a few cloves of crushed garlic, and salt/pepper to taste.  YUM!  

I made some today in between weight lifting, running a kid to the doctor, homeschooling, making lunch, and hitting the gym.  Tonight I added it to our venison 'Chipotle-style' burritos and yippee!!!

It All Depends On How You Look At It

This year at the Olson household (as with many other households) money is a little tight. We've been making cutbacks and re-arranging our budget. We haven't gone out and done anything crazy, like canceling cable, but we have been making some modest choices. One of these choices is the refusal to buy more Christmas paper.

You see, for some reason I have an obsessive compulsive thing with saving scraps of Christmas paper. We have more scraps then actual rolls. When we decided to wrap presents the other night, we realized exactly how low we are on good pieces of Christmas paper. We have a lot of three inch by six inch pieces, but a nice good square at least one foot by one foot?....it's not happening. Nathan looked at me with a worried expression. I said, "I've got one partial roll hidden in our closet." Whew, we have enough paper for a couple of the bigger gifts. We wrap those gifts and then....silence.

"Ha!" I scream, "I got it! It's not scraps of paper cheaply taped together. It's mosaic wrapping! IT'S ART!"

I just saved us five bucks. Nathan just smiles. Good thing he loves me.


Book Review 2

Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen was a very interesting book. I thought this particular sentence written on the back of the book was a perfect description: "Girl, Interrupted is a clear-sighted, unflinching document that gives lasting and specific dimension to our definitions of sane and insane, mental illness and recovery." Because I'm sure that most of us at some point in our lives have asked the question, "Am I sane?"

In this book, Susanna (at age 18), was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and spent 18 months in the mental ward of a 'high class' hospital. One of my favorite parts of this book was when Susanna quoted her diagnosis: "Uncertainty about several life issues, such as self-image, sexual orientation, long-term goals or career choice, types of friends or lovers to have..." She goes on to say, "Isn't this a good description of adolescence? Moody, fickle, faddish, insecure: in short, impossible."

You couldn't pay me enough money to go back to adolescence....because I'm pretty sure *that* part of all our lives was a little bit crazy.

*Apparently the book was made into a movie. I have yet to see the movie, but it will be put into the Netflix queue right now.*

Book Reviews

I've never done a book review before, so I'll do my best not spoil either of the two books I'm about to review. I was debating on if I should review the book that I didn't like so much or the book that touched something inside of me, but in a weird and awkward way. I decided to do both, one today and one tomorrow.

First up is Life Laughs (The Naked Truth About Motherhood, Marriage, and Moving On) by Jenny McCarthy. I was hoping for a rip-roaring great book, something on the level of Jen Lancaster (who is one of my most favorite authors....ever).

If Jenny McCarthy is up for the 'naked truth', her book sucked. I'm done with the constant bitching about men. I'm done putting all men in the "Mr. Potato Head" category. Attention Ms. McCarthy, there are some pretty good guys out there. I feel sorry for you because you married a slob, who is unable to decorate the house to your desires, take care of you or your baby, or even wash a load of laundry. Good for you for divorcing a man like that and moving on (oops...spoiler). As for the rest of the book, yes I'll admit it, you did have one or two funny moments, but most of your book read like most of your orgasms...fake and un-entertaining.

Counting Down

I hurt my ankle this summer and being the *can't slow me down* type of person I am, I've had a little trouble letting it heal. Last month I vowed to stay off it for 30 days. (What's up with me and all this 30 Days business?) Even though I've been frustrated and bored with the stationary bike I'm happy to say I only have 5 days left! The anticipation I feel about getting on the elliptical machine for the first time in 30 days is intense. I can't wait to do a 'proper' workout. Look out elliptical machine, treadmill, and stairmaster....only a few more days and here I come!

Sorry

I love games. One of my all time favorites is Sorry and this is why: Even if it looks like you are destined to lose, you might end up the winner.

For example, today I was playing Sorry and eating sugar cookies with my oldest (The Social Guy) and my youngest (The Brainiac). They each had three of their pawns at home with only one more pawn to go. I, on the other hand, had three pawns at start and only one home. Guess who won? ME!

Because Sorry is just like 'life'....sometimes it might look and feel like you're losing, but you just can't tell how, when, or where you'll end the game.

"I'm Not Crazy...

I'm an artist!" This was a Facebook status of mine awhile back and every day I wish it would be true. You see, I want to be *that* artist so badly. Not only do I want to witness things with different eyes, I want to show myself in new, bold ways. I want to please the senses and take you on a journey. I want you to taste an entire quiche in just one bite. I want to make you daydream while looking at one of my mosaics. I want you to smile, laugh, or cry while reading my blog. I want to challenge you to be unique and love who you are. But most of all I want to make you feel...

Today I was moved by a brilliant artist. She made me feel. I dare you to disagree. Go ahead and check out her blog:

Everything is Better with a Boa

Family Business

We opened a family business a couple weeks ago. We did it without a business plan or start up capital, in fact it happened by accident. I hadn't even realized what I was doing as I was setting it up. You see, our family now owns and operates 'The MFP Eatery' in Cafe World on Facebook. We all take turns making food, waiting tables, and decorating the cafe. It's been fun and cute watching the kids decide what to cook and how to lay out the tables, chairs, kitchen, and waiting station so that we get the quickest service and highest buzz rating.

We've cooked too many dishes and we've had to toss some out. We've gone from a buzz rating of over 100, all the way down to about 30. Our daily conversation has been spiced up with questions like:

"How much longer on that roast?" "How many more servings of fruit salad are there?" "Should we get more Christmas decorations?" "Hey, what's the current buzz rating?" "Did you get something on the stove?" "What are you cooking?"

Have you ever started something little and silly for yourself and have it turn into a fun, family event?


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Bored

I get bored. I used to tell my kids that only boring people get bored. That's not true. I made a commitment to stay 'off' my ankle for a whole thirty days, which means only the stationary bike for me. Well....I'm bored. Good thing is, I've beaten boredom by bringing books with me to the gym. Yes. I'm *that* girl who brings her iPod (actually it's my sister's iPod, but that is another post), phone, and books to the gym. You see, sitting on that bike is sooooo boring. I must do something to distract myself from every.single.minute. I have read three books this week (actually I've only read two and a half, but *three* sounded so much better). I'm hoping the library will not run out of books by the time I get to move to the elliptical.

This week I've read:
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
Life Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
Petal Pusher by Laurie Lindeen

Look forward to a few book reviews later this week! oh, and if you have anything you would like to recommend, PLEASE DO! ::writing note to readers:: I don't really care for murder mystery types or Harlequin novels, but I seem to be attracted to biographies....just so you know ;) oh, and if I post on Facebook that I'm headed to the gym, feel free to text me!

Morning People vs Non-Morning People

There are two types of people in this world. The Morning People and the Non-Morning People. You know who they are. The Morning People get up and out of bed with ease when their alarm clock rings. They slide into the bathroom without a care in the world. They take their time eating breakfast and putting on their make-up. You can hear them whistling and humming like Disney's Sleeping Beauty. They wish you a "Good Morning" and have welcoming smiles. They encourage conversations in their perky, little morning voices....

And then there are the Non-Morning People. I like to refer to them as the Night People. Let's play up their strengths, not their weaknesses. They set the time on their alarm clock fast, trying to trick themselves into getting up early. They hit snooze, a lot. When they finally drag their arses out of bed there are no smiles, or humming, or singing, or conversation, or ANY NOISE AT ALL. They are lucky if they can toss on eye liner and mascara, let alone get themselves "airbrushed" for the day. And breakfast? They don't have time for breakfast.

And while I admire the Morning People for their bubbly morning charm, personally I would rather rock it out with the Night People, sleep until noon, and eat brunch.

Is that a surprise in your pocket?

Oh, why yes it is! Don't you just love it when you stick your hand in your winter coat pocket and find a surprise that has waited for you through Spring, Summer, and Fall? I know I do. It's probably about the only thing I like in winter! When I stuck my hand in my winter coat today, I found a half container of Tic Tacs and some cute pink lip-gloss. The best surprises are cold, hard, cash, but I'm a lip-gloss junkie so this is a pretty good score for me. So what have you been surprised with in your pockets?

Suddenly I See

Different songs 'hit' me at different times of my life. (Okay to be honest they hit me different each hour.) Right now I'm particularly drawn to KT TUNSTALL Suddenly I See

The lyrics are fantastic and the beat just gets me going. When I hear it I think of the beautiful girl I want to be. I think of spreading light to people I know and meet. I think of being a powerful, tower of strength and hope.

"Suddenly I See"

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

Are you a music lover? Are there songs that speak to you?

Free Gym Buddy

Attention lady at the gym looking for a gym-buddy:

If I was interested in a gym-buddy I would enter the gym with a skip in my step, smiling and waiving. I would also:

a. not bring a book
b. not bring an iPod
c. not keep my eyes to my book, iPod, recumbent bike, or cell phone

So when you ask me (while I have ear-buds in) what book I'm reading, I won't hear you. Not only that, but when I do finally figure out that you are trying to get my attention I will think that I forgot to put my cell phone ringer on silent or that my child was clocked in the face with a basketball in the next gym. I will panic, ripping the ear-buds out. The music will have been on way too loud, so I will slightly yell, "What?" in that anxiety stricken voice. And when you say, "What book are you reading?" I will not answer you. I will just show you the cover of the book - which was already facing you! And when you ask me, "Is it any good? I heard it was good." I will give you the "what-the-f@ck?" look and say in an exasperated voice, "I don't know. I just started it." I will then turn back to my book, iPod, recumbent bike, and cell phone. I might even text somebody, letting them know what a dumb ass you are.

Shape Up Help?

There's an ad in our community education brochure for a group personal training class. You pay a slightly reasonable amount and get the following benefits:

*Scheduled workouts led by Certified Personal Trainers and Group Fitness Instructors in yoga, strength training, and cardio

*Be required to turn in daily meal plans for feedback - I'm wondering if you can just turn in any old 'meal plan' or if you are required to turn in what you 'actually' ate...just kidding.

*Be given tools to help produce lean muscle, increase energy, and see results

The Biggest Loser lover in me says, "YES! I wonder if they would go all Jillian or Bob on me?" The realist says, "I already know what I need to do. I just need to get off my arse and do it."

So my questions include: Why does this personal training thing sound so much more attractive to me then doing it on my own? Do I really need to email my food log to someone and have them tell me, "Kimberly, I don't think several glasses of wine, paired with late night snacks, is a *good* idea?" or any of the following:

"How about if you actually get up in the morning, re-establishing your morning yoga routine?"

"I know lifting weights isn't your favorite, but seriously you know it's the best way to produce lean muscle mass."

"I understand your life is busy, but you need to make time for your health."

"I know your bored with the recumbent bike, but if you're to achieve your goal of running a half-marathon this coming up spring you need to let your foot heal, duh."

"Speaking of the half-marathon...I don't think you want to run it at this weight, just sayin'."

Reality is that I need to figure this out for myself, on my own. It's damn time to quit lallygagging around and kick it in the ass for once and for all.